Cover letter rough draft correction?
I’m writing a cover letter and I have a rough draft. Could you please help me correct any errors?
« Dear Mr. Baar,
I’m writing to you because I’m interested in applying for the Library Clerical Aide I.
I have almost two years library experience, working as a page at west leonard. I’m currently a college student at Grand Rapids Community College. I will soon be transferring to Grand Valley State University. Hopefully, I will be working on my bachelor’s degree in international relations and foreign languages. I am confident that my vibrant personality and ability to learn would be ideal for long term success in this field.
I will be free the week of memorial day to further discuss the job requirements. You could reach me at (616) ***-9534. If I have not heard from you by May 30, I will contact your office to inquire a potential meeting time.
Sincerely,
Kenneth Ford
« I’m writing to you because I’m interested in applying for the Library Clerical Aide I. »
Should be:
« I am writing in response to the advertisement for the Library Clerical Aide I position in the May 21 edition of _____ »
You need to beef up your library experience and highlight accomplishments, not just say « I have almost two years… » It does not show confidence in your abilities. Next, « west leonard » needs to be capitalized as does « Bachelor’s », « International Relations and Foreign Languages ».
Remove « hopefully » as it also shows a lack of confidence. Write, « I will be transferring to Grand Valley University in the Fall/Spring 2008/2009 to complete a Bachelor’s degree in International Relations and Foreign Languages. »
Show them what you can offer THEM in terms of the present experience and skills you have. A vibrant personality and ability to learn says nothing of your skills. You need to give key accomplishments, key knowledge that will make you a more standout candidate.
Lastly, they don’t necessarily care when you are « free ». Simply write, « Please contact me at xxx-xxx-xxxx to arrange a meeting to discuss my qualifications. » Telling them « If I have not heard from you by May 30… » sounds demanding and almost entitled to the position.
Say thank you for their time and sign off with the sincerely. Follow up a week later to inquire about it. You don’t need to write that you will follow up…just do it.
Best of luck!
The New J. Paul Leonard Library: Book Retrieval System
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Classical Carols The Vocal Library R Walters Hal Leonard Corporation MUSIC / Gen €26.45 |
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French Song Anthology The Vocal Library Collectif Hal Leonard Publishing Corpora €32.71 |
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Hal Leonard Student Piano Library Teacher’s Guide Piano Lessons Book 2 Hal Leon €13.48 |
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Piano Lessons Book 5 Hal Leonard Student Piano Library Barbara Kreader Fred Kern €15.19 |
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Popular Piano Solos – Level 5 Hal Leonard Student Piano Library Music Sales Ltd €12.81 |
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The Classical Singer’s Christmas Album The Vocal Library Various Hal Leonard Pub €26.24 |
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Hal Leonard Piano Library Piano Lessons Tuition Book 1 €6.18 |
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Hal Leonard Piano Library Piano Lessons Tuition Book 2 €6.18 |
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Hal Leonard Student Library Piano Solos Book 4 With CD €7.42 |
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Hal Leonard Student Piano Library – Piano Technique Book 1 €4.94 |
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Hal Leonard Student Piano Library – Piano Solos Book 1 €4.94 |
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1922 Golf Prince Wales St. Andrews Salvator Leonard Library University €26.50 |
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Piano Lessons Book 3 Hal Leonard Student Piano Library Barbara Kreader Phillip K €15.23 |
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Mozart Arias for Baritone/bass The Vocal Library Hal Leonard Publishing Corpora €29.05 |
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English Songs Renaissance to Baroque The Vocal Library Hal Leonard Publishing Co €35.70 |
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Hal Leonard Student Piano Library Disney Film Favourites Mona (Arranger) Rejino €26.05 |
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Puccini Two Arias from La Rondine The Vocal Library Giacomo Puccini Hal Leonard €14.27 |
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Classical Carols The Vocal Library Hal Leonard Publishing Corporation Hal Leonar €25.71 |
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English Songs Renaissance to Baroque The Vocal Library Various Hal Leonard Publi €22.84 |
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Mozart Arias for Soprano The Vocal Library Amadeus Mozart Wolfgang Hal Leonard P €27.89 |
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Favorite French Art Songs The Vocal Library Low Voice Various Hal Leonard Publis €27.76 |
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Piano Lessons Book 3 Edition Hal Leonard Student Piano Library Hal Leonard Barba €12.31 |
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Hal Leonard Student Piano Library Christmas Piano Solos Level 1 very easy piano €6.18 |
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Hal Leonard Student Library Christmas Piano Solos Level 2 Slightly Shop Soiled €4.32 |
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Hal Leonard Student Library Christmas Piano Solos Level 4 Accompaniment CD €6.80 |
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Hal Leonard Student Library Christmas Piano Solos Level 1 Accompaniment CD €6.80 |
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Hal Leonard Student Library Christmas Piano Solos Level 1 Accompaniment Disk €5.56 |
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Hal Leonard Student Library Christmas Piano Solos Level 5 Slightly Shop Soiled €4.94 |
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Hal Leonard Student Piano Library Christmas Piano Solos Level 2 Easy Piano €5.56 |
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Hal Leonard Student Piano Library Christmas Piano Solos Level 3 Easy Piano €5.56 |
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Hal Leonard Student Piano Library Christmas Piano Solos Level 4 Easy Piano €5.56 |
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Hal Leonard Student Piano Library: Piano Theory Workbook 4 NEW €8.61 |
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Hal Leonard Student Piano Library – Classical Themes Level 1 (CD) NEW €12.32 |
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Hal Leonard Student Piano Library: Christmas Piano Solos Level 1 (CD) NEW €12.32 |
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Hal Leonard Student Piano Library: Piano Ensembles Level 5 (CD) NEW €12.32 |
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Hal Leonard Student Piano Library: Piano Lessons Book 3 (CD) NEW €9.84 |
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Hal Leonard Student Piano Library: Piano Solos Book 4 NEW €11.08 |
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Hal Leonard Student Piano Library: Popular Piano Solos Level 1 (CD) NEW €12.32 |
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Hal Leonard Student Piano Library: Christmas Piano Ensembles Level 2 NEW €9.84 |
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Hal Leonard Student Piano Library: Lecciones De Piano – Libro 2 NEW €9.84 |
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Concerto Pour Violon Opus 14, Concerto Pour Violoncelle Opus 22… €4.55 … |
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Symphonie En Ré Mineur, Variations Symphoniques, Le Chasseur Maudit €6.98 … |
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Chostakovitch: Symphonie N°8 Op.65 – Ouverture Festive Op.96 €4.60 … |
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Disney Hits €5.66 Une superbe collection des chansons de Disney, arrangements facile pour piano, paroles anglaises et accords de guitare. Idéal pour pianiste débutant et niveau intermédiaire.Titres :A Dream Is A Wish Your Heart Makes (Cinderella);A Whole New World (Aladdin);Beauty And The Beast;Colors Of The Wind (Pochahontas);Part Of Your World (The Little Mermaid);Reflection (Mulan);Supercalifragilisticexpiali… |
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Disney Films … |
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Disney Favorites €4.73 … |
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The Oratorio Anthology: The Vocal Library Mezzo-soprano/Alto €13.10 … |
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We the Living €10.71 … |
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Adult Piano Method: Lessons, Solos, Technique & Theory €10.13 … |
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The Sea (Life Nature Library series) … |